The last thing she said to me was, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

But “tomorrow” never came. She was gone before I woke up. I was angry. Why couldn’t she wait for me? I would have never left the hospital that night if I had known it was her last. But then I realized, Shyra always did what she said she was going to do. And this has proven true even after her death. She has, in fact, shown up in all my tomorrows.

“I’ll see you tomorrow” was Shyras way of saying “I will always be with you even after I’m gone”.

I looked in the mirror this morning and saw Shyra looking back at me. She was in my eyes. She was looking through my eyes. I don’t know how to explain it, but there she was, in my mirror. It wasn’t me looking in the mirror, it was her.

They say it gets easier. It doesn’t get easier. Time does NOT heal all wounds. Time magnifies all wounds. The more time that goes by without Shyra in my world, the more sad I become. The hole in my heart gets bigger. I miss her more today than I did yesterday.

I may speak of her less out loud, but I think of her more in my quiet thoughts.  It’s just me and her now. I shared my grief long enough, now I must recognize it and own the darkness. Our sister time is held in the secret place of my heart. She is everywhere and nowhere all at once. I can hear her laughing and see her smile each time I close my eyes.

Her memory grows stronger each passing day; a life like Shyra’s never fades away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow” was a promise and also a lifeline. I said goodbye to my baby sister for the last time on May 10, 2021, and ever since it’s been a series of “hello’s”, “good mornings” and “you’ll never believe what happened today’s”. 

Healing from grief lies in the “hello” and the realization that I never have to say goodbye to Shyra again. Instead, I get to end each day saying, “I’ll see you tomorrow, sis”.

Death may feel like an end, but for Shyra, it was just the beginning. She is more alive now than she ever was, and she’s right beside you each morning, ready to say “hello”.

Can you hear her?